


Inside the bottle

by Cala



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen, post Hiatus part 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-09
Updated: 2007-05-09
Packaged: 2017-10-24 09:09:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cala/pseuds/Cala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs left. Leaving people behind. Leaving Tony behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inside the bottle

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, spellchecked.

It could’ve been days between Gibbs’ retirement and his return to NCIS. It very well could’ve been weeks, or months. But to Tony it felt like years. Long, painful years during which everybody else learned how to cope. How to deal with the sudden loss. Slowly picking up the pieces left after Gibbs broke their hearts.

*Opening the bottle*

Tony hadn't been graced with such a privilege. He had literally few hours to accept what happened so that the next day he could step into the shoes of the team’s leader.  
This time permanently.  
So he held Abby in his arms, whispered lies and platitudes, telling her Gibbs will be back as soon as he gets his brain working again. He gave her a lift home and went back to his apartment.  
Taking the longer route. One that ‘by accident’ went near Gibbs’ house. It took a lot of willpower not to stop in front of the familiar porch.  
Instead he stopped in front of a convenience store and bought a bottle of something he hated. Bourbon. Seemed appropriate.  
With the help of alcohol he spent the night accepting the fact he has been left alone. Again.  
Tony DiNozzo was used to being rejected. But through the years Gibbs head-slapped his way into being the most important person in Tony’s life. Someone who was allowed to see that small part of Tony’s personality that no one else saw.  
Inside jokes, silent understanding, finishing each other’s thoughts.  
It was all over now.

*Glass One*

Tony was slowly preparing himself to move on. He loved being a cop. Putting murderers behind bars was something that gave him huge satisfaction. But Baltimore wasn’t the right place for him. He couldn’t explain it. The precinct was just like any other. There were people he liked and people he preferred not to see too often. Nonetheless, Tony felt out of place.  
For weeks, he was toying with the idea of leaving. Then, with the case of double homicide, he decided it’s his last one. After that, he would file for transfer. Another one. Or he’d just quit the PD. Though he couldn’t imagine himself doing anything else.

*

The case couldn’t be messier. Lots of blood, two bodies. And few hours into the investigation; a very grumpy NCIS Special Agent. One of the victims happened to be a Petty Officer. It was Tony’s first cross-jurisdictional case. Surprisingly, after all those years in the Dept.  
But the moment he met Agent Gibbs, something told him that if he doesn’t play it right, he might end up being just an errand boy for Gibbs.  
So he did his best. And he ended up an errand boy anyway. Ironic really. His performance during that case would get him a promotion at Baltimore. Instead he just heard “I have an opening for a field agent.”  
You mean 'in need of somebody doing all the dirty work for you', he thought at first. But to think of it… Maybe it was a promotion after all.  
But at that moment, Tony really saw that as an opportunity. He smiled widely.  
“You think I could get the job?”  
Gibbs shrugged and took a sip of his coffee, which Tony got him few minutes before. “Use that smile on Human Resources and I see you on Monday.”

*Glass Two*

Working with Gibbs was a nightmare. Start work at six am, act like Gibbs’ personal slave, do at least three things at the same time, know about stuff that hadn’t happened yet.  
And no matter what he did, rarely it was enough. He considered a transfer on many occasions during that time. But all it took was simply a small nod, acknowledging the info Tony spent a whole night on getting. And it was the most satisfying job in his career.  
With time, the dynamics between them started to change slowly. They were getting to know each other, finding out about quirks each of them had. Learned what worked for both of them.  
Like head slaps.  
When Gibbs head-slapped him for the first time, Tony just stood there, staring at Gibbs with shock. He knew what he should do. Report it, or tell Gibbs he won’t put up with that kind of abuse. Not even coming from such a good investigator, because Tony deserved at least little respect. Or quit. He changed jobs because of lesser reasons.  
Instead he just went back to work with a short ‘on it Boss!”.  
*  
And then, at some point, there was Vivien.  
At first Tony didn’t like the idea of another person on the team. It seemed to him like Gibbs hired somebody new, because Tony wasn’t doing his job.  
But it turned out to be not entirely a failure.  
He got promoted and got a better parking spot. Plus he had less work with a second person for Gibbs to torment. Slightly less. With more people, they could handle more cases.  
Still. Parking space was very good.

There was also another development to the whole situation. Tony was no longer an errand boy; he was no longer the one who searched through garbage to look for a murder weapon. He became Gibbs’ right hand. More or less.  
Well… He liked to think that. And that he was better in his job than Viv. And… Sometimes, after Gibbs said something even slightly resembling praise, Tony also liked to think that his boss likes him more than Viv, too.  
Somewhere at the end of his first year at NCIS, Tony realized he joined the somewhat twisted competition of ‘who can please Gibbs’ and ‘who can get a praise from Gibbs’, without even knowing it. If he wouldn't be talking about himself, he'd say… Lovesick puppy, really. Only it was just a healthy competition between coworkers.

*Glass Three*

He wasn’t surprised when Viv left. It wasn’t really for her. Not NCIS and not Gibbs. Throwing Abby, Ducky and Tony himself into the mix… Not everybody could work here.  
Plus Tony really didn’t mind working alone with Gibbs again. Minus going through garbage.  
But apparently Gibbs minded. Or maybe he got used to the third person on the team. No matter the reason, Tony wasn't left on his own for long.

When Kate joined, it immediately felt different then when Vivien was around. Tony knew that on the spot. Even though she looked slightly like Viv, with her long red hair and the attitude. But Gibbs treated her differently. She was allowed to not know things.  
For some reason Tony was a little hurt when she was getting the stuff explained to her. But then he moved to explaining stuff himself.  
After all, he learned to follow Gibbs’ example very quickly. And since Gibbs liked Kate… Tony couldn’t bring himself to hate her.  
Though, sometimes, when he was working in the middle of the night on some lead, he did. A little. Because ever since Kate joined, Gibbs was that much harder to please. With her profiling skills and secret friends in Secret Service… So Tony worked at nights, because the damn need to please Gibbs was that much stronger. Sometimes he really, really wished he had never met Gibbs. His life would be so much simpler. So much... Boring. Without purpose.

*Glass Four*

Enter McGeek. The man who actually grew a spine while working for Gibbs. Well, understandable. Not that McGee needed a spine. For some reason, Tony was sure that Tim would be perfectly happy without a spine. With his MIT, Norfolk's little job and elven ears. But, much like Tony, McGee met Gibbs. And, much like Tony, he was ready to do everything to stay. Thankfully, Tony had a spine. Now McGee had one too. And elven ears.  
It was surprising really. Gibbs was a bastard; the man himself admitted that on numerous occasions. And yet, people were willing to kill to get a spot on his team. Not that Tony himself ever contemplated that. But he always wondered about Ziva. She really looked the type. She really was the type.  
Yeah. Tony hated working for Gibbs sometimes. The man was mean and abusive and never actually showed that he cared about them. About Tony. Only... Whenever there was a life and death situation, Gibbs always had Tony's back. For which, Tony was grateful. On numerous occasions.  
Besides, where else could he work now? At FBI? Fornell would be glad that Tony finally accepted the offer. But working with Special Poster Boy for Lack of Humor Sacks? For the rest of his career? And most importantly, working without Gibbs?  
That would suck.  
Sacks. Sucks. Heh.

Okay, not more alcohol for Tony DiNozzo.

*Empty Bottle*

There was pain. A lot of it. And it wasn't your ordinary headache. No. That was a hangover from hell. Like the one you get after drinking the entire bottle of whiskey.  
Tony opened his eyes. He looked around, trying to assess the situation. He was in his apartment. In his clothes. All of his clothes. This as far as he was considered was either very good or very bad.  
And he noticed an empty bottle. The reason why he felt like shit. No more alcohol. Ever. Again. It's going to be a wonder if he's even able to work. Oh God, Gibbs is going to kill him. Or mock him in that Gibbs' way that at the same time insults you and makes you feel like an idiot... Or...

Gibbs won't say a word. Gibbs won't even notice Tony's late. Nobody will head-slap him for sitting in Gibbs' chair.  
Because yesterday Gibbs quit. Retired. Went away. And left them all. Left Tony.  
And now Tony will have to step up. Be The Man. Drink disgusting coffee and yell at people so they don't feel the loss so much.

Tony looked again at the empty bottle. How fitting. Maybe he should buy another one on his way home in the evening. So that he has something to celebrate with when Gibbs is back, if ever.

Tony sighed heavily. This was a brand new day. No matter how much it sucked.  
He took a quick shower, got dressed. On his way out he stopped to get the keys from the table in the hallway. His eyes drifted to the mirror. He looked at himself. Looking like he was drinking all night. He knew no one would mind, but still.  
He head-slapped himself and went to work.

*Brand New Bottle*

It could’ve been days between Gibbs’ retirement and his return to NCIS. It very well could’ve been weeks or months. But to Tony it felt like years. Long, painful years during which everybody else learned how to cope. How to deal with the sudden loss. Slowly picking up the pieces left after Gibbs broke their hearts.

And then Gibbs was back. Ordering them around, head-slapping them, not praising their work.  
Tony was back to being Senior Field Agent. McGee was back to being a Probie. Everything was as it should be.  
But it was different. It was all wrong. Tony found himself silently disagreeing with Gibbs. Not following him to the letter. He found something about himself he didn't want to know.  
Gibbs was no longer his whole world. Gibbs’ word was no longer the Holy Writ. Gibbs' praise was no longer something Tony would give anything for.  
Everything changed, and in the process, some things were lost, chances of getting them back slim to none, bordering on impossible.


End file.
